Foreword by Dr. Robert Brooks

We were honored to have, Dr. Robert Brooks, write the Foreword for The Parents’ Guide to Raising CEO Kids. Dr. Brooks is a pioneer in the field of resiliency and raising confident children and his work provided a strong foundation for us in our writing.

Foreword

I was trained as a clinical psychologist in the late 1960s and early 1970s.  It was a period when mental health professionals routinely focused on “fixing” the problems of their patients.  Only lip service was given to identifying and reinforcing the strengths that resided in each individual.  An adherence to this so-called “deficit model” impacted on the questions that clinicians asked and the strategies they applied in their practices.

Those of us who worked with children and adolescents typically exhausted most sessions asking parents as well as their children about the problems the latter were experiencing.  Little, if any, time was spent inquiring about the youngster’s interests, passions, or strengths.  Even less time was afforded asking parents about what they viewed as their own strengths.  While it is necessary to address problems and symptoms, to do so without identifying and fortifying strengths produces a very narrow, shortsighted approach.   It lessens the impact clinicians can have to help both children and adults lead a more meaningful, satisfying life.

In the 1970s, especially based on my clinical experiences working with youth in the inner city of Boston and then at McLean Hospital, a private psychiatric hospital, my focus began to change.  I began to raise certain questions, including, “Why is it that some children can grow up under racism or poverty or grow up in abusive or chaotic homes or grow up with life-threatening illnesses and yet cope successfully with these difficulties to lead lives filled with positive relationships, satisfying jobs, and a sense of optimism and hope?”  Little did I realize that the seeds of my interest in the concept of resilience were being planted, seeds that were to flourish not only as important features of my career but also in the field of mental health as evidenced by the emergence of “positive psychology.”

Studies in the area of resilience initially focused on children who had overcome great adversity.  Clinicians and researchers were interested in identifying the factors that led some children to cope more effectively with hardship, while other children were burdened by stress and emotional difficulties.  Variables such as the inborn temperament of children, their problem-solving skills, the style and encouragement of parents, and support outside of the immediate family were noted as key factors in determining successful adaptation.

In my collaboration with Dr. Sam Goldstein, which has included co-authoring the books Raising Resilient Children and Raising a Self-Disciplined Child, we examined factors that contributed to resilience.  We identified key characteristics of what we labeled a resilient mindset, that is, those assumptions, expectations, and skills associated with children who had dealt successfully with adversity.   Our work prompted us to wonder: “If we are aware of the characteristics of a resilient mindset, can parents reinforce these characteristics in their children from a very early age, whether or not the child has faced unusual adversity or not?”  Stated somewhat differently, “Can we use what we have learned from children experiencing hardship and turmoil and apply the principles to all children regardless of the amount of stress or pressure they have encountered?”

We answered these questions in the affirmative, believing that the nurturance of a resilient mindset was of paramount importance in helping children to become more hopeful, successful, and resilient.  While we emphasized that possessing such a mindset would be invaluable if and when children face unexpected stress and trauma, it also provides an outlook and skills that will help children to experience greater achievement and satisfaction at any age.

Another key finding in the resilience literature is that a resilient mindset and lifestyle are not rooted in exceptional qualities possessed by only a few fortunate children but rather are inherent in all youngsters.  Psychologist Ann Masten refers to the process of resilience as “ordinary magic.”  It is our position that all children possess strengths or “islands of competence,” a metaphor I first introduced 30 years ago.  These strengths can be nurtured each and every day by parents or other caregivers.  The late psychologist Julius Segal emphasized that children require “charismatic adults” in their lives, that is, adults from whom they “gather strength,” to promote resilience.

As I read Jerry and Sarah Cook’s very impressive book The Parents’ Guide to Raising CEO Kids, I was constantly reminded of the strategies that Sam Goldstein and I recommend for raising caring, self-disciplined, productive, resilient children.  Jerry and Sarah’s appreciation of the power of parents to have an immense positive impact on a child’s life is evident on every page of this book.  Their respect for the capacity of children—when encouraged and guided by the “charismatic adults” in their lives—to realize noteworthy accomplishments is in refreshing contrast to the many negative articles describing the seeming lack of responsibility, dedication, and compassion in today’s youth.

In articulating the four pillars for raising CEO kids, not only do Jerry and Sarah offer realistic, practical guidelines for believing in and assisting our children to become successful in the business world, but these guidelines and the skills that are learned are applicable in all domains of our children’s lives.  The qualities of the successful child CEO—being responsible, compassionate, thoughtful, self-disciplined, using effective interpersonal and problem-solving skills, and handling both success and setbacks with calmness and dignity—are the same as those found in resilient individuals.

A list of many child CEOs with brief descriptions of their accomplishments enriches this book.  It was reassuring to discover through the revealing observations of CEO kids and their parents that these youngsters come from diverse backgrounds and that their journeys truly represent the “ordinary magic” residing in so many children whose passions, visions, and actions are influenced and supported by caring adults in their lives.

One of the most important qualities of resilience is the ability to identify and expend time and energy on those factors over which one has influence and control.

As you read The Parents’ Guide to Raising CEO Kids you will soon recognize that not only are you preparing your children to be CEOs of their own companies but, very importantly, of their own lives.  A resilient mindset is a wonderful gift we can reinforce in our children and in doing so we are creating a legacy about which we can be proud.  I am certain that parents will often turn to this book as an important resource in creating this legacy and assuming the admirable role of a “charismatic adult” in their children’s lives.