This is Ryan right before he left to go on his first interview for a busboy position at the local sandwich shop. He was nervous. Very nervous. I knew he would be, so a few days before the interview we began role-playing. I wanted him to feel comfortable and confident that he was qualified for the job.

Although it’s always hard to know exactly what questions are going to be asked during an interview, there tend to be some standard ones.

We started with those questions:

■Why are you interested in this job?
■What makes you qualified for the job?
■What is your greatest strength/weakness?
■When can you start?

Then I tried to get creative. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on an interview, but here are the questions I aksed him:

■How would you handle these scenarios? A customer is upset because they feel their order was not handled properly. Or Your shift is over but your replacement hasn’t shown up. What do you do?
■How do you describe good customer service?
■What are your expectations for this job?

To build his confidence I reminded him of all the work experience he had. It’s hard to toot our own horn but sometimes we simply need to do it. Besides, unlike a lot of kids his age, he’s been working since he was eleven years old. First it was his once-a-week paper route which he kept for five years. When he was 13, he began reffing soccer in the fall. And then there was all the in-between stuff like doing yard work for our neighbor or cat-sitting for weeks at a time. All of that shows initiative, responsibility, and commitment. Employers like that. So mention it!

I also told him that if he was asked to describe what sets him apart from the others, he should talk about the times he went above-and-beyond in his responsibilities. Like when he decided to run the newspapers up to the doorstep of his subscribers. Or when he stayed to ref the next soccer game when the scheduled ref didn’t show. This shows you’re willing to put in the work…and then some.

I told him, they’re going to learn a lot about you even before you answer that first question. Did you arrive on time? How are you dressed? How did you introduce yourself? Did you offer a nice, firm handshake? How was your eye contact? All of these are clues to who you are as a person. And how you relate to everyone you meet is an indication of your inter-personal skills. Those are very important to an employer.

We role-played until he felt like he was ready. And although he was still nervous, he was less so knowing that he had prepared.

As he drove off that afternoon to learn more about how the world works, I was hoping that one lesson that day was learning that 5 minutes before you leave for the interview is not a good time to discover that you’ve misplaced your dress pants and that your shirt needs to be ironed.

Children today are much different than when you and I grew up. Kids are different, the world is different, and therefore our parenting style needs to be different for the empowerment and betterment of our children — ­and for us parents!

Kids today need boundaries, and a compass to set sail with. They need to know and feel they can be themselves and still maintain a passion and desire for life — without upsetting their parents. They are going to push limits — they need to stretch who they are.

Boundaries are NOT designed to control a child or their life, but to create a space of love, safety and self-expression for children to explore their inner and outer world, and grow!

Often kids are punished for pushing boundaries; parents call them defiant. This is not always true! You want your kids to stretch their wings and push boundaries — within the realm of respect, of course. This is how they grow, how they realize who they are and what is possible in life. And most of, all it’s how they realize there are consequences, both positive and negative, to their actions.

Boundaries are created by the type of parent you are. Which of the 3 parenting styles do you fit into?

Dictator: A dictator parent takes away the power for children to be responsible by yelling, telling, lecturing and deciding what the child will do and when. How can they be responsible and use their own brain, if you’re telling them what to do all the time? The dictator parent stands above their child, not by their side.

Rescuer: “Why argue with my kids? I’ll just take care of it myself.” The rescuing parent takes responsibility for their child, fixes their daily life problems and messes, and then says, “I am Mom, that’s what good Mom’s do.” The rescuing parent stands between the child and the world, not by their side.

Consultant: The consultant parent guides and partners with their child and keeps the child’s problems their problems, and offers solutions and choices. The consultative parent stands side-by-side with their child and steps in only when needed, when the child is in danger or too young to know what to do.

To create responsible, respectful and conscious children, children need a consultative parent who provides choices and leads by example, through healthy boundaries. Providing choices activates a child’s brain, causes them to “think” about the consequences, and makes them responsible for their choices.

As a single Dad, I have set boundaries that my daughter loves and is accountable to:

1. I will respect you at all times so you know how to treat me.
2. Feel FREE to do anything you want as long as it is healthy for you and others, and does not cause a problem for anyone involved.
3. If you cause a problem, I will kindly ask you to solve it.
4. If you are unable or unwilling to solve it, I can solve it for you.
5. How I solve it is based upon the unique person and circumstance.
6. At anytime if you feel something is “unfair” or you have “upset feelings,” simply whisper in my ear, “Can we talk?” — and I will listen.

The role of an outstanding parent is to NOT teach your child life lessons, it’s to consult with them so they GET their life lessons. The more mistakes my child makes at home with me, the more responsible, respectful and courageous she will be when it comes time to enter the real world on her own. As parents, we are much more forgiving than the real world will be for them.

So stand as your child’s greatest fan, greatest partner. With parents who have enough faith, trust and belief in them, children truly can “think” ahead of their actions and choose wisely.

You can find more great articles and resources at www.everychildhealthy.com

I love this video from Verizon about the power of empowering our kids in their young business adventures!  Let them DREAM BIG and TAKE ACTION!

I wrote an article not too long ago called Lessons from the Lemonade Stand and did a podcast on it too!

Talk to your kids today about ways they can make money this Summer. Ask them what they would like to do with the money they earn and who they might be able to help with a portion of the money they earn! Now THAT is a powerful and empowering conversation!

Trust is the ultimate confidence builder in kids. It requires that we let go and shift control into their hands, but the result is the development of self-esteem, competency, and independence.

Photo Credit

Giving your 3-year old a sponge so that she can help wipe up the kitchen table, and then allowing her to do the task according to her abilities, lets her know that you think she is capable.

Similarly, having your teen print the “What to Bring to Summer Camp” list and letting him take charge of packing his own duffel bag (without your interference from start to finish) shows that you believe he can accomplish the task.

Of course, there will be minor mess-ups like spilled milk or your teen forgetting to pack the quarters he needs to use the showers (!), but, in a safe and caring environment, those turn into great learning opportunities.

Do you want to know the best part?

Not only does trusting your kids to do for themselves help build self-esteem and confidence, but it also helps strengthen your personal relationship with them.

The Money Connection:

As we raise our kids, one of our expectations should be that they will grow up with the skills necessary to be responsible with money. This happens when we put our kids in charge of managing money, their money, and trust them to make decisions about how to save, spend, share, and invest it wisely.

They’ll need your guidance, of course, but the final decision should rest with them. Accepting their decision means you trust them to behave in a responsible way. Trust me, this does not go unnoticed by them. As always, they will make mistakes. But your confidence in their ability to learn from their mistakes helps solidify the trust you are establishing.

Don’t want your kids living with you when they’re 30?

Then trust them now to learn how to make financially responsible decisions. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised at just how savvy they can be.

*** I love the articles Karyn writes for our site!  Here’s the link to one she about teaching kindergartners about money!

Karyn Hodgens studied child development at Chico State University before receiving her master’s degree in education with a specialization in elementary mathematics. With a multiple-subjects teaching credential, for over two decades, her passion has been designing real-world lessons that resonate with kids and their interests. In 2006, Hodgens co-founded Kidnexions (kid·neck·shuns), a kids’ educational company with the mission to help kids make connections between what they are learning and their every day lives. In partnership with her husband, John, she created KidsSave, a kids’ savings and money management software program. She is the author of Raised for Richness, a “how to” to help kids master financial literacy which received the 2010 National Parenting Publications Gold Award in the parenting resources category. Her latest project is a series of Family Math Night kits which will be available Spring/Summer 2011. Contact Karyn at: karyn@kidnexions.com

All parents want their children to succeed in school. And since Kindergarten is a child’s first exposure to “formal” schooling, preparing them for success is an important first step on the academic ladder. But “preparing” our kids for academic success does not mean completing reams of worksheets and stacks of flashcards. It’s actually a lot easier than that. It simply requires looking for opportunities to seamlessly tie “lessons” into daily life. And the good news is, because these lessons are done in the context of things that are meaningful and relevant to children’s lives, deeper learning takes place.

Money is a good example. Most kids are familiar with it. In fact, most two-year olds already know that this thing called money buys stuff. By the time they are four and five, they’ve had a lot of money experiences, from watching mom and dad pay for things at the store to receiving money as birthday gifts. We can use these opportunities to sneak in some lessons and begin to prepare them for what they will be learning once they head off to school.

The Kindergarten curriculum includes learning about coins: their names, values, and some simple equivalencies. The following activity covers each of these in the context of having kids set their first personal financial goal. Seem lofty? Believe it or not, given the opportunity, and with your guidance, 4- and 5-year olds are quite capable of learning how to use their own money to purchase something they want.

The “lesson” begins as soon as you hear your four-year old utter the words can I have? That’s because the question, Can I have, creates a teaching opportunity that is immediately relevant and meaningful. The answer, Sure, let’s create a goal that will help you save enough money to buy it, will help your child learn skills that will become useful in Kindergarten and beyond.

Since it’s important that kids experience success with their first financial goal, start with an item that has a relatively small price tag…under $5. Through an allowance or some Above-and-Beyond Jobs (extra things kids can do to earn money), help your child figure out about how long it will take her to achieve her goal. Print and fill in the My Savings Goal activity sheet. Then print out the paper coins (from the My Savings Goal activity sheet) and cut out and paste her target amount onto the activity sheet. Help her find a clear jar where she can begin to save her coins then have her tape on a picture of the item she is saving for. This will serve as a concrete reminder of her goal.

As she earns money towards her goal, have her color in the coins on the activity sheet. This is a good time to talk to her about the names of the coins and their values. This little one is called a dime. It’s worth 10 cents. Have her describe some of the unique characteristics of each coin: rough edge, smallest, silver, etc. You can even talk about equivalencies such as ten dimes equals one dollar. Just keep in mind that learning takes time. Right now it’s about exposing her to the coin names and values and introducing her to different equivalencies so that when she enters Kindergarten, she’ll bring with her a familiarity which will make classroom lessons on money a little easier.

As her jar slowly fills up, not only will she be learning about coins, but you’ll be reinforcing delayed gratification, not always an easy skill for a youngster to learn. She’ll need on-going words of encouragement from you and perhaps even little saving reminders. Soon, with your support, she’ll walk into that store with her money jar and walk out with her coveted item. There is nothing like the sense of personal satisfaction for having accomplished something you set out to do. We do not want to deny our kids this feeling. We also don’t want to deny ourselves the opportunity to watch our child hand over her hard-earned money with heavy anticipation and excitement, knowing that she has learned some very important life skills.

Kindergarten is a very exciting year. It’s a year of social, emotional, and physical growth. But it is also the beginning of their academic journey. Looking for everyday opportunities to prepare our youngsters for this incredible journey can turn out to be that extra nudge of confidence they need to help set them up for success.

It is always most interesting to me to talk to the parents of the CEO Kids that I interview.

Enjoy this one with Chris and Jodie of Epic Parent TV! (<== Coming Soon!)

**Chris did the written interview and Jodie did the audio!

Sarah:  When did you notice that Cole was interested in making money and being in business?

Chris: There has not been a culture of business owners in our family so I wanted to cultivate this in our kids from a very young age.  The qualities that I did see in Cole is that he has a tremendous work ethic, he is a dreamer and has a “whatever it takes” attitude.

Sarah:  That is fabulous Chris that you want your kids to understand business and that you have taken notice of your children’s strengths! How did you go about introducing Cole to mentors?

Chris: Mentors play a significant role in our parenting and raising our kids.  Jodie and I are very strategic about the people/adults that we surround our kids with.  I have a plan that when Cole turns 13 he will spend time w/ certain business owners by going to work with them and learning more about the business world.

Sarah:  That is the same strategy we have had Chris. For example, my daughter Clarissa is 11 and has been working with mentors for a while now!  So many blessings come from it! Are you or your wife in business and if so – do you think that has given you an edge in raising a CEO Kid?

Chris: I am not in business for myself, God has called me to be a pastor so he had different plans for my life.  However, I do have a website that can be found at www.epicparent.tv and this is teaching me more and more about business ownership which I in turn share with my children.

Sarah:  So awesome that you are answering God’s Call on your life as well as stretching yourself to learn best business practices.  What do you to do support Cole along his business journey?

Chris: I am deeply committed to training my kids in the way God has wired them.  I will spare no expense and I will spend a significant amount of time helping lead Cole in business and life.  Specifically in his lawn business; I spent a ton of time carting him around from yard to yard…this took a lot of time but was extremely rewarding.

Sarah:  So great to hear your commitment!  How do you you help Cole stay balanced in all the other things he is doing in life?

Chris: Cole is a busy body, make-things-happen kind of a kid.  He is either playing football, basketball, baseball, fly fishing, snowboarding, mowing, etc.  I want to empower him to try as many things as his heart desires but I have learned that in being a parent I have a responsibility to intentionally bore him. I know that sounds crazy, but it is in Cole’s boredom and down time that fuels his innovation.

Sarah:  That is so true Chris.  Some kids are so “scheduled” that they have no time to be creative and let their minds explore possibilities! So, besides taxi service for Cole, what role do you play in his business?

Chris: I am Cole’s teacher!  I have taught him how to relate to people, be respectful, and how to create business relationships.  I have also taught him account management, money management, balancing his books, expenditures, and how to serve others and keep accounts through generosity.

Sarah: Doing all that teaching sure stretches a parent sometimes.  It makes you work to become the “expert” or find a mentor who is!  What were some of the challenges that you faced in helping him become the success he is today?

Chris: The biggest challenge we helped Cole grow through this year was in his priorities.  I remember one week that he wanted to play (imagine that…a 12 year old kid wanting to play) instead of mowing his yards.  He kept promising me “dad, I will get it done Tuesday, Wednesday, etc…”  I let him put it off until he has pushed it too far.  It was dark and one specific yard hadn’t been mowed so I made him mow the yard in the dark.  I parked my car in the street and lit the yard up w/ my head lights and he finished the yard in the dark.  Needless to say, he learned priorities and he never put the yards off again!

Sarah: I am glad I am not the only parent that has had experiences like that! Chris, looking back, is there anything you would have done differently that you would be willing to share with other parents of CEO Kids?

Chris: Let him fail.  I rescued him several times when launching his business when the best thing to teach him well would have been failure.

Sarah:  It certainly is hard to “let them fail” but they have to learn it and I believe it is far better for them to learn it within the safety net of the home than it is to have to learn it for the first time when they are on their own.

In closing what are your TOP 3 – 5 tips that every parent of a CEO Kid should implement?

Chris: OK – let me share five with you.

• Teach kids to serve others.  Cole had a yard that he mowed every week and never charged them.
• Teach kids that character, integrity and honesty matters more than profitability.
• Allow your kids to fail…this is the best teacher ever.
• Serve your kids.  I believe there is no greater parenting skill that a parent can have than that of being a servant leader.  Through serving them unconditionally it develops humility, love and a deep appreciation for family relationships.
• Student Leadership University.  This is an amazing program that develops kids leadership abilities in significant ways.  Cole is not old enough to attend yet, but I cant wait for his opportunity to attend.

Sarah:  Thanks so much for all of your great wisdom today Chris!

So you’ve got kids and you’re beginning to give thought to the idea of giving them an allowance. If you’re like most people, you’ll follow one of two typical allowance approaches.1 The first approach ties allowance to the completion of chores. The second approach emphasizes allowance as practice money to teach basic money management skills. Both approaches teach important lessons. But is one approach more effective than the other? Turns out, the answer is yes.

My goal is to address the two allowance approaches in a way that gets you to think beyond any personal experiences or biases you may have. To do that, I’m going to use current research in motivation theory to determine the effectiveness of each approach.

Motivation

What motivates us? That was the question asked by psychologist Edward L. Deci over three decades ago. Since then, his research and collaborations with Richard M. Ryan, combined with the research of countless others, has given us a framework within which we can come to understand human motivation. This framework, called Self-Determination Theory, developed out of the study of extrinsic and intrinsic rewards, the two forces, if you will, that move us to do something.

Extrinsic rewards come from without. Think stickers, grades, and candy. The focus is the reward so once the reward is removed, the desired behavior typically disappears. In addition, because we habituate quickly to extrinsic rewards, the reward needs to increase over time in order to maintain the desired behavior.

Intrinsic rewards come from within. They are things like the sense of accomplishment or personal challenge that we feel as a result of doing something that we find interesting. Intrinsically motivated people were found to be persistent, hard working, and happier when they felt they were in control of their own lives. Self-Determination Theory attributes these findings to meeting three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

· Autonomy refers to our need for free choice.

· Competence is our desire to master things that are interesting to us.

· Relatedness refers to our need to be connected to others.

The conclusion from the research is that intrinsic rewards, rewards derived from the activity itself, are more sustaining and contribute more to our personal well-being than extrinsic rewards, rewards that come from without. In fact, extrinsic rewards were found to have a substantial undermining effect on intrinsic motivation.

Self-Determination Theory Applied to Allowances

How do two seemingly unrelated topics – Self-Determination Theory (SDT) and kids’ allowance – fit together? Since it makes sense that we would want to promote intrinsic motivation in our kids, we can use SDT to evaluate how well each of the allowance approaches promotes the three psychological needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

Click here to read the entire paper as a pdf.

Saving money is hard.  And for some kids it’s really hard.  But it’s also important.  As parents, we want to develop healthy saving habits in our kids.  This is the first in a series of Kids Money Quick Tips devoted to encouraging and motivating kids to save.

Awesome Article by Alyssa Avant of http://CreativeVAPartner.com

As business owners there often seems to never be enough time in the day.  I as a business owner have been told more times than I can count that I can’t do it all on my own.  That’s true, that is why as business owners we must learn to let go a little and delegate.  If you have children this can be a great opportunity to teach them some valuable lessons and skills and lighten a little of your work load.

There are plenty of small tasks in a business that a kid can do.  Think about it, they could help sort your email, file your paperwork, copy and paste blog posts to your blog, update your SocialOomph and Facebook accounts, and more.

You want to be sure to give kids tasks that they can accomplish in a short period of time because they do tend to have shorter attention spans and at first you will need to give them tasks that aren’t too difficult such as the ones mentioned.  However, depending on the computer savviness of your child you may have them doing more difficult tasks in no time.

Also, if your child is of legal working (which is actually younger than you might expect) as you can actually pay them a wage and deduct it as an expense from your taxes come tax time.

There are many advantages to both your child and to your business when it comes to outsourcing to them.  Think about the skills that you are teaching them as well as the time you are saving yourself and your business.

Your child can learn:

• The value of a dollar. What better way to learn the value of a dollar than to actually earn it.  You can even take this a step further and teach them the ability to give, to save and to spend on occasion.
• Communication skills. Your child will learn how to communicate well with adults and will gain confidence in their ability to share information.
• A positive work ethic. So many times children are never given the opportunity to learn the rewards of hard work.  Give them this opportunity at a young age and they will cherish it for life, reaping the benefits of their efforts.

What are some ways that you have delegated, outsourced and leveraged your time?  Share your comments below!

Alyssa Avant is a mom entrepreneur who enjoys writing and speaking.  She is the owner of Creative VA Partner.com where she and her team specialize in blog management, sales page creation, newsletter creation and more.

Alyssa loves social media, Coca Cola and her husband and three precious children (not in that order).  She and her family reside in Carrollton, MS (the Deep South)